Delicious Freelancer with Fresh Deadlines, Coffee Stains, and Hidden Chocolate
1/2 cup cookbook editing
1/4 cup travel, gardening, and health editing
1/4 cup copywriting
5 firm deadlines
2 tablespoons gallows humor
In a large laptop, combine cookbook editing; travel, gardening, and health editing; and copywriting. Using a red pen, thoroughly diagram sentences, querying author as needed and making Sister Mary proud. Cover with a clean towel and allow to proof overnight.
Transfer freelancer to a clean work surface and knead until all typos are gone and freelancer has consumed a gallon of coffee and broken into hidden chocolate stash; this should take about one manuscript. Transfer freelancer to a Silpat-lined notebook. Arrange deadlines decoratively around freelancer, making sure several overlap on the calendar. Sprinkle humor evenly on top. Bake at 350 degrees F for 9 years, or until a dangling modifier inserted in the freelancer comes out clean. Note: Unlike revenge, freelancer is best served hot, on a bed of feast or famine.
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